The Truth about Cats & Dogs

I read this funny article in The Sun newspaper a few months back and had a good laugh.

All dogs are male (even the females ones) & all cats are females ...

Proof that ALL DOGS are MALE:-

1. Dogs, like men, are completely predicatable
2. They are supremely interest in your nether regions and pathetically unable to hide this fact
3. They dont respond when you should in their ear, but can hear the sound of a packet containing something consumable being opened a kilometre away
4. If you once let them hog your sofa, they will feel like they own it
5. They eat anything. Their basic philosophy is put stuff in their mouths first, ask questions later
6. They are intensely loyal but sometimes stray through sheer stupidity
7. When they are not happy they dont say anything but sulk and growl and knock things over
8. They emit large amount of gas from both ends
9. They often consume ill-advised items until they are sick, give you a sad "never again" look, and then do the same thing again the next day

Proof that ALL CATS are FEMALE:-

1. They are completely unpredictable
2. They expect to be worshipped all the time
3. They look cute but are surprisingly tough-minded creatures who make all the decisionns
4. You can call them, but you never know if they will actually turn up
5. They leave bits of their hair all over the place
6. They completely ignore you when you come home
7. They take the stance that you exist solely to ensure their happiness